meditations on facebook
Jan. 27th, 2011 09:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ilanaramaI keep thinking of things I want to post about. But I don't want to write something off-the-cuff; I want to craft a perfect essay, and as a result, I never write anything. So here is some somewhat off-the-cuff musing about Facebook.
Privacy, of course, is the first thing most people mention in connection with Facebook. I'm not bothered by using my full real name on FB, maybe because in my earliest online interaction, on Usenet, most people used their real names. Hell, I used my work email address (which alas is why it gets bucketloads of spam these days; it's been around since the Dawn of Spam.) I'm a little weirded out by people who use invented names on FB, even though it totally doesn't bother me on Dreamwidth or LJ or RWOL.
It kind of annoys me when people set their privacy controls so that nobody other than friends can see them, because even when they friend me it still doesn't allow me to see them - I have to friend them back, first. And sometimes I don't want to do that until I can see what they post, to figure out e.g. if this is the Sue Brown I knew in high school, or some other Sue Brown.
I pretty much don't do applications or let them share my information. And I use an ad-blocker. I do theoretically have to be careful of what I comment on friends' posts if they have friends I know through other venues, where I don't use my real name (la la la fandom), but I don't want them to make a connection. But I've become much less fussed about this in the past few years and I don't mind as much as I used to. (So if you are a stalker who has found this journal from my fandom persona, hi! Pull up a chair! It's okay!)
Then there is the superficiality it fosters. I see this as a feature, not a bug. As I have said before, Facebook is the perfect venue for staying in vague touch with people I only want to stay in vague touch with. I don't necessarily want a deep and meaningful relationship with high school friends, people I've met at fandom cons, other posters on the running forum I frequent, local people I don't really see frequently. I can connect with them if I want, but I don't have to.
Among my Facebook friends are, hmm. One of our County Commissioners, a candidate I backed for County Commissioner (he lost), and hee, a college roommate who just ran for County Commissioner in a county in a state 2000 miles from me. The first two I see at local political and occasional social events, the third I haven't seen since the mid-80s. Bunches of high school friends, and several people with whom I attended high school but were never friendly with me, and I'm kind of mystified that they wanted to friend me, but hey, whatever. A few couples from our sailboat cruising days. A guy who used to stalk my sailboat cruising log, who by coincidence is friends with one of my old high school friends. A guy I used to hang out with on Usenet, who by coincidence is friends with one of my running forum friends. Running forum friends I have met at races, and those I have never actually met. Usenet forum friends I have met at get-togethers, and those I have never actually met. And so on.
It's actually kind of cool. What I find myself doing with FB more and more is treating it as a sort of many-armed chat, a little slower than actual realtime chat but faster than comment replies on a journal. It's like Twitter was, when I used it, except that Twitter only showed parts of the conversation, people you followed but not the people they followed who might be responding to them (but not to you). (NB: I have two Twitter accounts, but I use neither.) I ignore topics that don't interest me (I use the Better Facebook greasemonkey script, which allows for sophisticated filtering, so I can outright kill or shunt to tabs various people and keywords, if I'm feeling overwhelmed) and I follow those that delight me.
One evening last week I complained on FB about not being able to get a fire started in my wood stove. The resulting comment thread grew to 82 comments over the course of the evening, and included sympathy, gentle derision, and good suggestions (and my reporting of negative results, alas) from a diverse audience: five running-forum friends (only one of whom I've met in person), three high school friends (two friend-friends and one person who I barely knew back then), two local people (neither of whom I have actually seen in months), and a guy I met sailing and haven't seen in years.
That's what I love about Facebook.
Privacy, of course, is the first thing most people mention in connection with Facebook. I'm not bothered by using my full real name on FB, maybe because in my earliest online interaction, on Usenet, most people used their real names. Hell, I used my work email address (which alas is why it gets bucketloads of spam these days; it's been around since the Dawn of Spam.) I'm a little weirded out by people who use invented names on FB, even though it totally doesn't bother me on Dreamwidth or LJ or RWOL.
It kind of annoys me when people set their privacy controls so that nobody other than friends can see them, because even when they friend me it still doesn't allow me to see them - I have to friend them back, first. And sometimes I don't want to do that until I can see what they post, to figure out e.g. if this is the Sue Brown I knew in high school, or some other Sue Brown.
I pretty much don't do applications or let them share my information. And I use an ad-blocker. I do theoretically have to be careful of what I comment on friends' posts if they have friends I know through other venues, where I don't use my real name (la la la fandom), but I don't want them to make a connection. But I've become much less fussed about this in the past few years and I don't mind as much as I used to. (So if you are a stalker who has found this journal from my fandom persona, hi! Pull up a chair! It's okay!)
Then there is the superficiality it fosters. I see this as a feature, not a bug. As I have said before, Facebook is the perfect venue for staying in vague touch with people I only want to stay in vague touch with. I don't necessarily want a deep and meaningful relationship with high school friends, people I've met at fandom cons, other posters on the running forum I frequent, local people I don't really see frequently. I can connect with them if I want, but I don't have to.
Among my Facebook friends are, hmm. One of our County Commissioners, a candidate I backed for County Commissioner (he lost), and hee, a college roommate who just ran for County Commissioner in a county in a state 2000 miles from me. The first two I see at local political and occasional social events, the third I haven't seen since the mid-80s. Bunches of high school friends, and several people with whom I attended high school but were never friendly with me, and I'm kind of mystified that they wanted to friend me, but hey, whatever. A few couples from our sailboat cruising days. A guy who used to stalk my sailboat cruising log, who by coincidence is friends with one of my old high school friends. A guy I used to hang out with on Usenet, who by coincidence is friends with one of my running forum friends. Running forum friends I have met at races, and those I have never actually met. Usenet forum friends I have met at get-togethers, and those I have never actually met. And so on.
It's actually kind of cool. What I find myself doing with FB more and more is treating it as a sort of many-armed chat, a little slower than actual realtime chat but faster than comment replies on a journal. It's like Twitter was, when I used it, except that Twitter only showed parts of the conversation, people you followed but not the people they followed who might be responding to them (but not to you). (NB: I have two Twitter accounts, but I use neither.) I ignore topics that don't interest me (I use the Better Facebook greasemonkey script, which allows for sophisticated filtering, so I can outright kill or shunt to tabs various people and keywords, if I'm feeling overwhelmed) and I follow those that delight me.
One evening last week I complained on FB about not being able to get a fire started in my wood stove. The resulting comment thread grew to 82 comments over the course of the evening, and included sympathy, gentle derision, and good suggestions (and my reporting of negative results, alas) from a diverse audience: five running-forum friends (only one of whom I've met in person), three high school friends (two friend-friends and one person who I barely knew back then), two local people (neither of whom I have actually seen in months), and a guy I met sailing and haven't seen in years.
That's what I love about Facebook.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-27 06:37 pm (UTC)FB gives me the beauty of small talk without the pain of being stuck in a conversation you don't want to be in. You pick and choose. Have I mentioned I love the internet?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-27 06:51 pm (UTC)I have been a fan of net-mediated conversation since my Usenet days - early 1990s. (I would like more real humans in my life, though.)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-27 07:01 pm (UTC)Totally. I see it as a much more pleasant approach to staying in touch (as opposed to all those stupid joke emails although I understand that they function as a sort of place marker for people who want to stay in touch)
I've got a HUGE family and FB's worked out well for me... to be able to keep up with what everyone is doing, especially the young'uns. =) I also use it to pimp my niece's band and music friends to anyone who is interested.
It does get kind of touchy on occasion, admittedly. I tend to be quite a bit more politically/environmentally ~progressive~ than a few on my friendlist and while I don't mean to offend them, I figure they'll unfriend/block me if they don't like it.
I do tend to lock things down a bit... but I'm paranoid by nature =) (Dad was a cop & I retired from indigent criminal defense) but I've still ended up with way more 'friends' than I would have ever expected. (I've learned how to use folders to keep them under control) =D
Otherwise? I like it... people I know & that know me... so I don't have to worry (quite so much) that my snarkastic humor will unintentionally offend anyone. (I have that problem here on Dw & LJ embarrassingly often) =(
Oh, and btw, I've been enjoying your pix on Flickr!
vaughn
also, didn't mean to blather on quite so long =P
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-27 08:32 pm (UTC)I do wish there was some sort of a gauge to figure out if I'm an annoying FBer -- I try not to be, but sometimes I wonder!
I forgot to say that I do keep my FB locked and I don't friend people that I don't know. (Aside from the politicians) I also tend to be very neutral when it comes to my FB status updates; I don't like reading someone's political tirades, so I in turn do not engage in them myself, for example. Most of my high school friends and acquaintances are right wing, neoconservative Republicans, which I tolerate by just scrolling by when they go on a rant about how Obama is a baby killer or whatever. Other people feel very comfortable posting whatever they want to about politics and other controversial topics, though. Sometimes I do a lot of scrolling, but that can also be due to my being bored with the subject matter. I have a friend who I really like, who posts about nothing but breastfeeding and natural childbirth. She's a midwife, so okay, I get the interest, but sheesh! Branch out a little! Meanwhile, I scroll scroll scroll ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-27 09:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-27 09:53 pm (UTC)Eric W.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-27 11:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-27 11:25 pm (UTC)Is this a dino thing, you think? *grin*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-28 12:18 am (UTC)The political thing, yeah. A few of my HS friends are WAY more conservative and/or religious than me. Right now I have one of my oldest and dearest friends filtered out because it's some sort of anti-abortion week. I've gotten into a big fight on FB too because I ranted about people who believe global warming is a big hoax, and apparently one of my (ex-)FB friends believes etc etc.
I can't believe you've offended people on LJ! You seem very - I want to say inoffensive, but that sounds offensive. You know what I mean!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-28 12:30 am (UTC)The 82 comments were, of course, from only a handful of people treating it more like group chat than anything else. Certainly not 82 people!
Let me recommend to you the Better Facebook script, which I use as a Greasemonkey extension but exists for all browsers other than IE. I use it to filter out certain friends' ranting about football and football teams, for example, and political stuff I don't want to read about. A lot of my running friends use certain apps to post their daily workouts and I filter those to their own tab, so I can look at them if I feel like. I also filter all the posts from certain local businesses I 'like' so that their ads etc go into their own tab. It's sort of like friendsgroups on lj or dw! Definitely saves the scroll button.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-28 12:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-28 12:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-28 12:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-28 12:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-28 01:04 am (UTC)BUT... the offenses I mention always surprise me too... I'm usually quick to apologize unless I figure it better to just let it go. Seriously =/ 0.o
Off to FB \o/ (like I'd miss the opportunity to keep up with you!!) =D
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-28 01:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-28 02:50 am (UTC)That is a great concept and is in line with my use of the site. I'm absolutely amazed by the high school classmates that have friended me. When I was in high school, I could count the classmates that were friends on one hand with fingers left over.
FB has allowed me to reconnect with a few folks that I'd lost track of and wanted to contact.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-28 02:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-28 03:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-29 05:28 pm (UTC)Most of my FB friends are work related - volunteers or professionals - so I post there rarely and nothing that would define my interests, religion or political views. Pretty much keeps it boring...
--Cahotage on LJ who deleted her DW account
Hello!!
Date: 2011-02-01 09:22 pm (UTC)I responded to your comment on my blog, on my blog, but that seems so weird. I want to talk to you about Canyonlands and a myriad of other things - Colorado Marathon (Im running that one too I hope)! I've always appreciated your approach to stuff while i was on the forum for women at RWOL - Is there a way I can email you?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-01 10:59 pm (UTC)Re: Hello!!
Date: 2011-02-01 11:00 pm (UTC)If you're running CO Marathon I hope you are already signed up, because it's full!
Also, you can leave a comment here with OpenID the same way I do on your blog, so you don't have to be anonymous.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-03 06:19 pm (UTC)Geez, that's why I don't write as often either. I need to get over that bad habit